Light at the End of the Spaceship?

Okay another update! Complete with Erik-friendly mad-libs so that he does not get queasy while reading this...

Doctor's appointment today. Wait... that means it's been a week since the last appointment, which means the baby did not come in 72 hours?! But...but.... Yeah, I know it has not been fun for me either!

So what's the word?

Baby First:

* His heart is still beating! He's still kicking. These are all good things :)

Mama Second:

* My rainbow is 3 centimeters unicorned.
* The baby is putting a great deal of pressure on my rainbow and that has caused quite a bit of juggling. The stork was amazed that my pot of gold hasn't been stolen. It also made her wonder if it was going to happen on it's own.
* The circus won't let my stork schedule me to luge unless medically necessary or 1-2 weeks past my due date. (LAME, right?) So the stork came up with a plan to cheat the circus! (insert evil laughter and maniacal finger tapping).
* On Tuesday, September 7th at 5:00a.m. I am instructed to go to the circus and tell them that I cannot feel the baby moving, and that my kittens are intense and getting closer together. Yes, my stork is having me lie. Not just lie, but act...and do it well! She has a colleague who will be on call and that colleague will tell them to keep me and ultimately luge. From there they will steal my pot of gold and give me some candy.
* Don't get me wrong, my stork is a good person. While she does not typically lie to the circus, she understands that it has been 8 weeks since I started to unicorn and she does not want me to continue to be so uncomfortable. If she did not have a procedure on Friday, she was going to have me come in before the labor day weekend. Damn!
* Yes, it is still possible for me to begin my mysterious journey before then. Hell, it could be any minute now - but she believes that if it doesn't happen by then, it may not happen without a little help.

SO - Assuming I do not have a baby this week/weekend -- little man will be joining us on Tuesday! It's nice to have a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still going to be walking and hoping for something sooner - but at least we KNOW! I got your hopes up last week - but this time, I mean it. This is not a prediction - it is a guarantee! Yay!!!


THE LEGEND:
Stork = doctor
Rainbow = cervix
Unicorned = dilated
luge = induce
mysterious journey = labor
circus = hospital
kittens = contractions
juggling = effacement (thinning)
lemonade = amniotic fluid/placenta
pot of gold is stolen = water breaks
candy = drugs/pitocin